I Was There: Wale “Fights” a Twitter Troll at WWE Raw
I'm not ashamed to admit it, I went to WWE's Monday night raw last night. I'm not a wrestling fan, and haven't been since Stone Cold was chugging beers and stunnering people, but when the opportunity to go to Raw presented itself, I knew I had to attend. Fuck, did I have fun. It's a lot like trap music, it's bad for your brain, fake as fake can be, but shit when you are in the middle it's hard not to get into it.
Anyhow...ss much as I wanted to write about going, I didn't really think it was blog worthy- what the hell does The WWE have to do with hip-hop right? - but apparently the biggest match of the night had something to do with rap. And it was actually real. On April Fools Day you have to tread lightly while perusing the internet, so if you saw a article titled something like "wale lays the smack down at raw" you might think it's fake. Sadly it's not. I wasn't planning on sharing my RAW Story, but this whole Wale thing seems to be the story of the day and I was actually there to witness "history", so maybe, (definitely not) just maybe (no chance) I can help define the narrative. This is why I got into journalism.
The last time I went to a WWE event they were still the WWF and I sat in the nosebleeds. This time however, we were on the floor," about five rows back from the front. It was close enough so you could see ever steroid-riddled muscle and hear every crack of the chair (side note, I know it's fake, but they definitely hit each other). It was also close enough that every time the action came to our corner everyone would stand up and wave their sign to get on the Jumbotron as if somehow it meant that they were now famous; people were obsessed...the whole time.
Anyhow, after settling in, grabbing a replica title belt, a few beers and a mask, I checked my phone only to see that Wale was at the same event. I looked around for a hat that resembled an orange Tic Tac and after a few minutes sure enough, I found him. There he was chillin' like 50 feet from me right behind the announcers table with a guy who looked exactly like future. Anyhow, I rap nerded out for a minute the got back to watching wrestling. I didn't look over a few more times, once during one of the bigger matches, to see him enthralled with his phone. Now he could have been texting Desean Jackson but I'd like to think this was him checking out what some fan said on Twitter. And the rest is history.
Now I didn't see him get kicked out, as far as know he was there up until the end when I left. I'm not sure if there is an encore or anything on wrestling but I left after the last match and he was there. Either the fight happened after or it happened before and it was so small I didn't even notice...or he didn't even get kicked out. From the audio, it sounds like it happened right in the middle of the event, as I was only about two beers deep when Triple H was talking so I remember those words perfectly; when you hear Triple H speak, you listen. Now the whole time, he seemed pretty disinterested (at least compared to me) I never really saw him cheer or do anything other than check his phone. Still, I think this story has become a way bigger deal than it sounds like. Nobody in the arena (outside of his section) noticed anything going on, there was no big brawl, no chairs thrown, nothing. Sounds like Wale got mad that someone hurt his feelings and he felt as though he had to push the guy in the face or he would lose all his money and his record deal. I don't understand it--give me that kind of money and I'll change my name to fuck boy--but what's done is done.
So everybody seems to be writing about it, but I was there in the trenches and I can report back by saying absolutely nothing happened. This is the biggest non-story story around. I wish I had something cool to report because I was there, but there really isn't anything. I didn't want to write this, because it felt a little TMZ-ish but Nathan twisted my arm. So to summarize, Wale needs to grow up, people on Twitter are sad, and Goldust is still fucking wresting. Welcome to RAW ladies and gentlemen!
UPDATE: Wale's take:
"I was like, 'Yo, is this you?' And one thing lead to another, and I just kind of mushed him a little bit. Honestly, if there wasn't kids right there, it would have went a little bit differently, but I just wanted to be conscious of them. It's not to say it was the right decision. But in the moment, you know."
P.S.- I wasn't lying about that mask #WWESelfie. By @Lucas_Garrison.